today was not what i planned. i was home alone supposed to be working on homework. i tried. it just was a mess in my craft/work room and that is where i needed to do work.
so my time was not wasteful but sometimes wayward.
i actually started the day at the coffee shop, but there was a young man who was insistent that we all hear whatever he was telling his date. i think i may be old. i have realized that i need silence to work or read or concentrate really. which is funny because normally i don’t like when it is too quiet.
but the reason it was not what i planned, was because i had to miss my favorite girl’s softball games, to work on my homework. which i did very little of. my viking told me she played fantastic.
so, it was a long day. i am super bummed i missed a chance to cheer her on. i cleaned and tried and was productive. but missed my favorites.
they came home exhausted and windburned and starving.
i had the blankets ready. i picked up the pizzas, and i waited on them.
just the act of taking care of them was the happiest part of my day for sure.
because sometimes joy is spoiling. sometimes good ranch and a recap of plays awesomely executed, and acknowledgment of a room well cleaned is exactly what you need (minus the stinky feet).
but mostly, when the plans of the day change, i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in this world than sandwiched between these two snoozing beautiful people. because they are my joy, and i don’t know what i did to earn their love. but i am the luckiest girl in the world that this is my life with them.
they are my joy.
to me, they are joy personified.
i went backpacking for the first time last fall.
where you wear your food, your clothes, your space to sleep, on your back.
and you set up camp at some lovely place, where the air is fresher than your lungs know what to do with.
we went up north in the lower peninsula of michigan, to the hoist lake recreation area.
it was magical. i don’t have any pictures of walking in, but we walked in around 10 p.m., and it was just stunning. quiet, and peaceful, and coolish with a humid mist.
it was the kind of trip, where the planning is quick, and spur of the moment, and where the excitement of the trip is electric. we had all the equipment we needed, and just decided to go. we only had one real night/day to spend up there, and that was all we needed. i love my family.
my love has backpacked his whole life, and a.r. is following in those giant footsteps of his, and is quite the adventurer herself. i love nature, i love being with my family, and i have definitely camped rustically (no bathroom, no showers, no people around you for a LONG while) before. but, i had never backpacked.
it was not a very good night of sleep for me, but my sweets both slept amazing. i was worried i would roll over a.r., and so, couldn’t quite relax. but, i know if we could’ve stayed at least one more night, i would have been refreshed beyond my own understanding, because just the less than 24 hours that i was up there, i was refreshed.
we had a campfire, and campers food (a.r’s fave) we hiked during the day, we gathered sticks, learned more about our surroundings, and laughed in the wind.
we are blessed to have been able to go.
i beyond a doubt, believe that it was a perfectly orchestrated trip from my Maker to enjoy the end of last summer with my loves before the school year began again for a.r.
it was exactly what we knew we needed.
it is one of my favorite trips of all time. i was less healthy than i am now, but that makes me even more excited for this year’s trip!
those two people are my heart.
backpacking is amazing. i am an amateur, but i know if you have any questions about stuff we brought, or what you would need, r.l. would be happy to help you answer those questions. it is something you should try. just once. i promise, you will come away relaxed, refreshed, and more in love with life.
go out and seek adventure. it is a blast. i promise.
now go find some adventure!!!
ranunculus. is the plural ranunculaii?? i am obsessed & want to grow some this year. i keep seeing people post pictures of their gorgeous blue mason jars full of a bouquet of them.
where do you buy them in bouquets? trader joes? farmer’s markets? where??? (i am desperately seeking ranunculussssessssss.)
i am obsessed, & also an awful guinea pig parent to gus D. guinea pig. (although if you ask a.r., she is the mom, and i’m the grandma). i can’t be a grandma yet.
i believe i am over zig zags in the form of chevron. it gives me a headache. (i won’t share a picture, i don’t want to give you a headache).
planning a yard, garden and/or outdoor space is SO fun. paying for one is not.
coral curtains are fun.
owls are overdone. let’s give the groundhogs a chance people. or? hedgehogs. think about all the cuteness with the spikes.
i love the color green, and the best version of green? spring. Hallelujah.
i got to go to the detroit tigers game and meet up with some cousins, aunts and uncles, and sisbomb #2. it confirmed the idea that my extended family on both sides is WAY better than yours. sorry folks, just the facts.
this post is brought to you by natural vitamin d. it helps regulate the crazy from eight months of sheer below 40 degree madness.
confused guinea caretaker – OUT.
songs on a wednesday
i imagine you are under a tree just like this.
teaching our girl about good stuff, like morals and fish scales.
the sweat and joy intermingled in your dirty hair.
she listens to your every syllable. always has.
you may fall asleep, you may in fact be rocking in your hammocks.
breezily enjoying this view of earth.
i can picture her smiles, and your shouts as you reach the peak of another breathtaking crest.
and i wonder how i could be so blessed to call you my beloved.
and to have her small hand print etched into my heart.
just for now, this is all we need.
except i am here in an air conditioned cage, and you two are exploring.
dream for me, will you love?
that i may soon be by your sides.
where we can frolic in the grass like doe, and sing merry songs of random.
and the tiny grasshoppers that harmonize.
i have not written.
i have not wanted to write.
i have not wanted anything but to be left alone.
and that is hard to type out since i know it’s us that makes me better.
me + you = better.
i have had a change in perspective. not huge, not overly dramatic.
just that, in order for me to be the best be forever lovely writer that i may be, i need you. and music. and NO chipmunks.
i need your voices, your concerns, your funny, silly jokes.
your comments light my way.
i need pointless questionnaires (that really aren’t pointless, because i get to know you more). fill out a few, and send me them, okay?
i need community. just good old-looking out for each other community.
so here’s where i’m at:
1. i think that growing food is super awesome. i don’t know how organic farmers do it. my pepper plants are eaten but by critters, not me (it saddens me that rl’s jalapenos are caput thus far, he so enjoyed them). my tomatoes are infected. i literally cried over my garden. yep, i’m that girl. and, i don’t care! i love my garden, and i want it to flourish! any tips? garlic cloves are in place. chicken coop wire is up (although i do need to create the other garden box one, that may help).
2. i think all chipmunks
should die should go to a chipmunk retirement home. they are evil annoying little rodents who kill gardens and joy. particularly mine. and i’ve saved two from drowning (in a homemade chipmunk trap). but for goodness sakes – please spay and neuter your chipmunks!
3. i believe lily-white legs are the new thing. like never-see-the-sun-unless-it’s-africa-hot-outside white. i rock them out often. just sayin.
4. i still don’t have all the answers, but i’m trying like hellobeautiful to find them out.
5. concerts save me. music is my lifeblood. in this here and now, before the eternal question of my resting place, i like to shake my booty, and bop my head. not only did i get to see sarah mclachlan with my two sisters (better than mint bear claw ice cream, and that’s tough to do), but i am going to ben harper in september. what? my favorite? yes. his voice fills my crackly soul with goodness and hope.
6. my posts don’t all have to change the world, and i don’t need to worry if one or two or 500 people don’t like them. i am the writer. i am a writer. it feels really good to realize that.
7. i can’t WAIT to watch alex reese and her sweet pals play ball this weekend! bring on the cheering and home runs! go Gatorcats!
8. there is nothing as soothing as a friend’s voice, and more awesome is her laughter. thank you my sweet kate.
9. i will soon be the proud owner of 1/4 of a cow. will you please send along recipes that are somewhat healthy? stews, burgers, etc.
10. i have a goal of my craft room/creative space that i’m now calling the be room, to be fully functional by august 1st. wish me free time. etsy should be up and running by september 1st. wish me prayers and good luck, and buddha belly rubs all around. and most importantly – COURAGE.
11. and to end on an odd note, let’s pick b sharp.
stay LOVELY my friends,
focusing on good stuff, here are seven things i am so incredibly thankful for:
early morning softball eyes. they are the prettiest i’ve seen yet. those lashes!
little hands, little hearts, BIG impact on their aunt baaaaabs. (& matching jammies).
a view from happy. my sweet alex reese, a pit of wonder, the garden boxes.
this sound. this smell. these stories & dreams shared. this. this. this.
silliness personified in all its youthful, spirited glory. summertime.
sweet cool treats (minus the whipped cream for me, of course).
the perspective of lovely evenings, & knowing that this is just earth.
one of my favorite old pictures of you, and your gap-toothed smile…
i am so thankful you were born today, eleven years ago.
i am so thankful that you came into my life, almost 7 years ago.
i am so thankful that you love me.
words, and pictures, and even all the ice cream in the whole wide world that hasn’t even been made yet, cannot explain how happy and blessed i am to be your stepmama.
nothing can compare it. not even close. (not even biggby coffee)
i am so thankful that even though we don’t share dna, that you take up all of the cells of my heart, and more. because that means that every time my heart beats, it knows you’re in there. you fill up all the extra spaces that were empty, just by being lovely, stunning, smartypants, athletic, caring, wonderful you.
happy birthday a. reese.
i love you more than you-know-what,
i am not sure what the path that God has chosen for me except that somehow i’m a connector.
i am the railroad conductor.
child, sister, mediator. long term-er.
connector. like a copper wire of sorts, weaving my way around, making sure the electricity is on between folks.
i utilize this copper with a sense of urgency, then, restraint.
i rearrange this metal hoop, with which, i cannot jump through without affecting another human, someone’s child,- perhaps, someone’s aunt.
should i make stuff to sell on etsy?
move closer to alex, get a new job, a new home?
remain in tact at a job that i’m slowly building confidence and regard to usefulness? make paintings of my poetry, hoping to gain extra income to stash away for blue bears farm?
i know that i will not stop dreaming and believing in this blog. a blog that has been a dream for over two years, that i don’t update nearly enough, and that i obsess over & OVER who reads and follows and likes.
i know that i am not the same kind of dreamer you are. we don’t work the same or react anything alike. i don’t like photos of myself, and barely know how to keep a home running.
but i love.
with all my heart. every single minute. the people and breathing living things around me.
they feel it. i know they do. even when i feel guilty for calling a friend at exactly the wrong time every.single.time. they know at least i thought of them.
and i break. a lot…my compass of what’s right, and what’s too much to say or worry about is often in the shop. BUT…
i know i can make this blog work. somehow it will generate interest enough. it will liken someone to know how to be nicer. more sensitive. laugh louder. eat more bread. (y’all know i’m a carbsLOVER, right?). maybe someone thinks i’m kooky for laying this all out there.
but me? i’m only doing what i think is right. a connector of worlds. step-mamas, singles, marrieds, old, young, cranky, hippy, artsty, muscially inclined to fall in love, sportsy, overweight, undervalued, book worm, sassypants, bike riding, motorcycle passengering, river fishing, middle of the long road, different path taken people.
i believe i have the power to connect them all.