i will conquer the west

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about my fears, i wrote the following, knowing that only by conquering my fears of beginning, will i ever know if i can. the more i wonder, the braver i become.

i am not the west.
i am the north.
i breathe the south.
i embrace the east.
but the west.
it is scary, dry, unknown, desolate perhaps.
is it sacred >> does it bring about cracks that want to envelop me?
i know nothing of its culture.
i am an immigrant in its land.
the west of what i dream and rake my future from, those west – are more than what i think i could handle if i got there.
but, what i know, in the form of fingertips and frostbite, unprepared – i’m heading there anyway.
with my cart.
because of my very horse.
the wagon of my stuff exposed – laid bare upon those cracked and hardened canvases of truth.
the west.
it is an apocalypse of fear that i will destroy with my beginning.
the fear is something erupting into my drums.
and i must march on.

to your dreams, to your hopes, to your beginnings.

i am sending out the blessing of the new year to each and every one of you. may we seek the joy in all we do, and may we spread the kindness as a living, breathing seed of good.

happiest of happy to you and yours. what is your west? go & explore it. may we find love wherever we are brave enough to travel.

love,

b

sigggggg22

5 :: hopespoken

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one:: hi, i’m barb, and i’m going to the hope spoken conference! whoohoo! i am so blessed to be able to go. this is a picture of my mom and i from a few weekends ago on a family visit to south haven, michigan (which is an AWESOME coastal town on Lake Michigan that you should visit if you ever get the chance).

two:: i’m a student again, studying graphic design, and it is challenging me.  some days are hard, and some are so fun.

three:: i am a little nervous about my ability to talk too much and get sweaty because i realize that i’m talking too much. also, the real thing that makes me nervous is leaving anyone out. i hate leaving people out.

four:: something i am hoping to take away from the conference are more friendships, more connections, more security from God that this is the path He wants me on.

five:: i also want to let you know that i am a little random in my interests: i consider myself a hippie-cowgirl-sport lover who wants to own her own farm one day, even though she grew up in the burbs. oh, and i love everyone. and carbs. i love carbs, which is hard since i have given up gluten for health reasons (stomach problems stink!), and so sometimes dream about sesame seed bagels.

i hope to see you at hope spoken, and please give me a hug and say hi if you are! (sorry if i’m sweaty during the hug! 🙂 but now you’ve been warned).

i’m linking up with casey, one of the sweet hostesses or organizers or hopesters? i don’t know what to call her, her awesome blog link up for us is here!

sigggggg22

adventure, adventure :: backpacking in the moonlight

i went backpacking for the first time last fall.
where you wear your food, your clothes, your space to sleep, on your back.
and you set up camp at some lovely place, where the air is fresher than your lungs know what to do with.

at some point on our hike out.

at some point on our hike out.

we went up north in the lower peninsula of michigan, to the hoist lake recreation area.

it was magical.  i don’t have any pictures of walking in, but we walked in around 10 p.m., and it was just stunning. quiet, and peaceful, and coolish with a humid mist.

these two were pumped, as was i.

these two were pumped, as was i.

it was the kind of trip, where the planning is quick, and spur of the moment, and where the excitement of the trip is electric.  we had all the equipment we needed, and just decided to go.  we only had one real night/day to spend up there, and that was all we needed. i love my family.

she was ready to defend me against squeeters.

she was ready to defend me against skeeters.

my love has backpacked his whole life, and a.r. is following in those giant footsteps of his, and is quite the adventurer herself.  i love nature, i love being with my family, and i have definitely camped rustically (no bathroom, no showers, no people around you for a LONG while) before.  but, i had never backpacked.

in the morning, i felt peace.

in the morning, i felt peace.

it was not a very good night of sleep for me, but my sweets both slept amazing.  i was worried i would roll over a.r., and so, couldn’t quite relax.  but, i know if we could’ve stayed at least one more night, i would have been refreshed beyond my own understanding, because just the less than 24 hours that i was up there, i was refreshed.

these beauties were taking a bath close to us in the morning mist.

these beauties were taking a bath close to us in the morning mist.

we had a campfire, and campers food (a.r’s fave) we hiked during the day, we gathered sticks, learned more about our surroundings, and laughed in the wind.

my firemaker.

my firemaker.

we are blessed to have been able to go.

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morning coffee ♥

morning coffee ♥

this was our view. we couldn't see another person from our "site".

this was our view. we couldn’t see another person from our “site”.

God's Glory.

God’s Glory.

i beyond a doubt, believe that it was a perfectly orchestrated trip from my Maker to enjoy the end of last summer with my loves before the school year began again for a.r.

it was exactly what we knew we needed.

trifecta of awesomeness.

triangle of awesomeness.

no makeup, no worries.

no makeup, no worries.

it is one of my favorite trips of all time.  i was less healthy than i am now, but that makes me even more excited for this year’s trip!

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those two people are my heart.

the people in this picture make me so happy, even if i look like i need a nap, and a makeover! :)

the people in this picture make me so happy, even if i look like i need a nap, and a makeover! 🙂

goofballs in the woods.

goofballs in the woods!

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thank you Lord, for this view.

thank you Lord, for this view.

love is everywhere, you just have to look.

love is everywhere, you just have to look.

i heart wildflowers.

i heart wildflowers.

backpacking is amazing. i am an amateur, but i know if you have any questions about stuff we brought, or what you would need, r.l. would be happy to help you answer those questions.  it is something you should try.  just once.  i promise, you will come away relaxed, refreshed, and more in love with life.

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best girl. small frog. favorite.

best girl. small frog. favorite.

only a prince will do.

only a prince will do.

go out and seek adventure. it is a blast. i promise.

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we did it! (well, i knew they could do it, but i again, was less healthy then, and this was an accomplishment!). yay!

we did it! (well, i knew they could do it, but i again, was less healthy then, and this was an accomplishment!). yay!

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now go find some adventure!!!

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if.

if it is important to you

hi.

hi. how are you?

aventure is out there!

i’m good. actually, i’m SUPER busy, but that’s good.
great things are happening for me.
starting with being blessed enough to go to this!

please know that i miss writing here, and i always am trying to think about making this a place of rest, laughter and comfort.  and that i’m so thankful i have this avenue for that kind of thing.

peace to you all.

love,

barbie

sometimes

tomato hope

sometimes i just want you to listen to your kids, and not just nod like you are listening.  (sorry a.r.)
sometimes i want you to put down that cell phone and really tell me how you are.  ( i should listen more)
sometimes i wish we could get a day off of work for a national or better yet international literature day, and truly help those who cannot read, for it is one of life’s greatest gifts.  (this speaks to me on so MANY levels)

anything is possible

sometimes i just want to be a black-nail polished, multiple earring wearing, eyeliner-is-still-on-from-last-night kinda gal, strumming a mean bass guitar. (for reals)

sometimes i want to have an ocd personality, type a, neat, buttoned-up corporate juggernaut attitude. (don’t think this one is gonna happen)

sometimes i want to sell my stuff and move to a commune on acreage in montana or better yet, alaska. (dreamy)

sometimes i just wanna be a hairdresser. (i love how a haircut can change how you carry yourself)

purple passion

sometimes i want to be a marathon runner. (working on this one, small walking steps are already accomplished)

sometimes i want to go back in time and tell my youth which mistakes to make a big deal about, and which to laugh about. (laugh at most)

sometimes i wonder what a cool type of “job” it would be to just have wanderlust and tour the world only trying to spread good, help folks & see critters of afar. (holy dream job right there)

sometimes i just want to wake up a morning person. (uh……)

breezy

sometimes i am content to just be. (other times like now, something pushes me to be a better version of me)

sometimes my dreams & goals seem so so far away. (other times, i make them happen)

sometimes i am happy, sometimes wrought with the blues.

sometimes i watch MSU football – go GREEN!, sometimes deep indie movies that make you think.

sometimes i know exactly what i feel, others my tears or laughter explode from within.

sometimes, well, all the time, i want to know that i am an artist, & a writer.  even if it is just for me.  for i feel a freedom when i create that nothing else in this world even touches.  when i create, i am able to be  perfect in my own eyes – which is never the truth any other time.  because there is no judgement or timetable, nor rules.  i am unrestricted.  & it is the oxygen, the fire, the water to my soul.

some-no ALWAYS, i am trying to do this life the way in which i leave no stone unturned, & have no regrets.  even if that means that sometimes, i may just not know how to do that quite yet.

all my wandering love,

babs

songs on a wednesday

songs on a wednesday


i imagine you are under a tree just like this.
teaching our girl about good stuff, like morals and fish scales.
the sweat and joy intermingled in your dirty hair.
she listens to your every syllable. always has.
you may fall asleep, you may in fact be rocking in your hammocks.
breezily enjoying this view of earth.
i can picture her smiles, and your shouts as you reach the peak of another breathtaking crest.
and i wonder how i could be so blessed to call you my beloved.
and to have her small hand print etched into my heart.
just for now, this is all we need.
except i am here in an air conditioned cage, and you two are exploring.
dream for me, will you love?
that i may soon be by your sides.
where we can frolic in the grass like doe, and sing merry songs of random.
us three.
and the tiny grasshoppers that harmonize.

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