osmosis: prelude to the thrum

img_5692i have found God in the thrum, thrum, thrum of a bass guitar,

on the hill of the dry side of a beach,

with a band from across

the pond,

singing through their doubts of faith.

it made me weep.

He: Creator, God of ALL, Light of Every Being –  evaporated goodness

from their efforts,

& osmosed into my song.

that band’s questions became my own.

our answers all sounded different because

our ears have travelled, produced, edited, rehearsed –  their own melodic lives.

but! we understood each other.

and that was enough to convince me.

i am made of notes, lyrics, masterpieces of guessing – trying the sharps, rolling into the

flats, strung up on the grind that becomes the elevator pitchi-ness

ink blotting off the page.

each curiosity

solved through emotional performances of love.

i’d think that at some point, someone would want to hear this riff, this banger – my jam!

but even if i’ve wondered forever, i’ve practiced, preluded;

snuck my Beethoven-ed way

to convince more than my tiny audience of:

fame – can you imagine?!? not the goal of the music, nor even the rehearsal,

it’s a concert that i want, perhaps just a ticket – – – – –

if i can’t hear the music though, how are the notes to know where they go?

we are the choir.


i am called to the broken & lost because they are me;  i, one of them.

we together peek under the rock of taboo & discover what it is like to know truth, in all it’s show.

to understand why & where & how we can love with even more fever than before we knew –


that we all must sing when our song is lost & we all find the choir backs us up exactly we when need the harmony the most.

so we sing.

& that is our masterpiece, because we ARE the choir.


& lost we are, but found we’ll be.

keep singing loves. keep singing.

i don’t always love Beyonce but…

i saw this floating around the interwebs, and wanted to share it here.  because we must be courageous.  everyone probably understands the joy from music, and the healing from laughter.  Check out this woman’s courageous move before a double mastectomy surgery.

the courage and joy she has in these moments is inspiring.

what have you found courage or joy in today?


random thought thursday:: rodent retirement homes

i have not written.
i have not wanted to write.
i have not wanted anything but to be left alone.
and that is hard to type out since i know it’s us that makes me better.

me + you  = better.

i have had a change in perspective. not huge, not overly dramatic.

just that, in order for me to be the best be forever lovely writer that i may be, i need you.  and music.  and NO chipmunks.

i need your voices, your concerns, your funny, silly jokes.

your comments light my way.

i need pointless questionnaires (that really aren’t pointless, because i get to know you more).  fill out a few, and send me them, okay?

i need community. just good old-looking out for each other community.

who doesn’t?

so here’s where i’m at:

1.  i think that growing food is super awesome.  i don’t know how organic farmers do it.  my pepper plants are eaten but by critters, not me (it saddens me that rl’s jalapenos are caput thus far, he so enjoyed them).  my tomatoes are infected.  i literally cried over my garden.  yep, i’m that girl.  and, i don’t care!  i love my garden, and i want it to flourish!  any tips?  garlic cloves are in place.  chicken coop wire is up (although i do need to create the other garden box one, that may help).

2.  i think all chipmunks should die  should go to a chipmunk retirement home. they are evil  annoying little rodents who kill gardens and joy. particularly mine. and i’ve saved two from drowning (in a homemade chipmunk trap).  but for goodness sakes – please spay and neuter your chipmunks!

3.  i believe lily-white legs are the new thing. like never-see-the-sun-unless-it’s-africa-hot-outside white. i rock them out often.  just sayin.

4.  i still don’t have all the answers, but i’m trying like hellobeautiful to find them out.

summer skirt+fun heels+lawn seats+sisters = happiness

5.  concerts save me.  music is my lifeblood.  in this here and now, before the eternal question of my resting place, i like to shake my booty, and bop my head.  not only did i get to see sarah mclachlan with my two sisters (better than mint bear claw ice cream, and that’s tough to do), but i am going to ben harper in september.  what?  my favorite?  yes.  his voice fills my crackly soul with goodness and hope.

6.  my posts don’t all have to change the world, and i don’t need to worry if one or two or 500 people don’t like them.  i am the writer.  i am a writer.  it feels really good to realize that.

7.  i can’t WAIT to watch alex reese and her sweet pals play ball this weekend!  bring on the cheering and home runs!  go Gatorcats!

8.  there is nothing as soothing as a friend’s voice, and more awesome is her laughter.  thank you my sweet kate.

9.  i will soon be the proud owner of 1/4 of a cow.  will you please send along recipes that are somewhat healthy? stews, burgers, etc.

10.  i have a goal of my craft room/creative space that i’m now calling the be room, to be fully functional by august 1st.  wish me free time.  etsy should be up and running by september 1st.  wish me prayers and good luck, and buddha belly rubs all around.  and most importantly – COURAGE.

orange makes me VERY happy!

11.  and to end on an odd note, let’s pick b sharp.

stay LOVELY my friends,