in life there are moments that you will relive over & over again because they are little or big gifts from God. the moment RL asked me to marry him, will be one of them: i said yes.
i am called to the broken & lost because they are me; i, one of them.
we together peek under the rock of taboo & discover what it is like to know truth, in all it’s show.
to understand why & where & how we can love with even more fever than before we knew –
EVERY VOICE MATTERS TO SOMEONE, ESPECIALLY TO THE CHOIR.
that we all must sing when our song is lost & we all find the choir backs us up exactly we when need the harmony the most.
so we sing.
& that is our masterpiece, because we ARE the choir.
ALL OF US ARE THE CHOIR.
& lost we are, but found we’ll be.
keep singing loves. keep singing.
how do you explain a special gift of attending a women’s Christian conference & a travel plan that makes you anxious (switching planes & a big Hotlanta airport with an embarrassing story to boot), & the connections from a stranger-turned-friend are placed in just the right timing? & even perhaps, how you sit next to the people on airplanes that may make some Christians balk, & make me open up even more about how i know we are ALL loved, & how all of it makes for one of the greatest weekends of my life? i will try with humor & truth. but is all of it just coincidence? nuh-uh. it isn’t. i am starting to believe in non-coincidence. if you think i’ve gone all crazy eight ball lady, you are wrong. i went to Hope Spoken, & the words, hugs, stories, shared meals, “coincidences” that i experienced are not fake. they did not happen on a reality t.v. show, or to someone’s aunt’s best friend. they happened to me. & i am going to be as brave as possible & share those stories, some bits of the conversations (privacy will be upheld completely), & down right COOL things that i experienced, & i will hopefully give you a sense of how this weekend & another weekend over a year & a half ago, have changed me forever. i went to the Influence Conference well over a year ago. that began the process of this weekend for me. click over here to read that recap. so i kinda knew what a women’s Christian conference could be, or would maybe look like. & was i ever excited. but the BEST part of this experience, is that while that conference was my first, & i loved every second of it, Hope Spoken felt like it was a gift from God, JUST FOR ME. that may sound selfish or weird, or like i loved this conference more, but i believe that what God started at the Influence Conference, He finished at Hope Spoken. He is the Ultimate Storyteller. when i tell you some of the deets, you will *hopefully* know, why it has taken me so long to even process this conference, & while some of it, will remain in my heart as a private love letter from God, shared only for my hopes & dreams, & for my future.
my roomie: darling, sweet, HILARIOUS, open, warm. her name is kerith, & i love her. she’s from texas. a mama, a wife, & an all around great friend & sister. kerith & i had not met in person before this weekend. by the time dinner rolled around a mere maybe two hours after we met, people at our table (hi beautiful ladies!) asked how long we knew each other, thinking we were long time friends. God knew that i would be shy to room with a “stranger”, that’s why i felt okay about letting some of my gunk out there prior to meeting her. we got to know each other online through emails & texts first. & i now cannot wait to stay in touch & become even better friends with this hilarious, sweet soul that lives in Texas. i’ve already asked if she’ll move her family to the mitten …. (please leave comments to coerce her to at least consider it, & leave out any details of said polar vor-anythings). 😉
the town: dallas. i may be in love with you. i told every person i encountered that i was from michigan. i had a confidence i never knew i had, i talked to the hotel peeps, the taxi drivers, the waitress, & i was just SO excited to have my toes painted with my open toed sandals on. i’d love to visit you again, perhaps next year for the Hope Spoken conference again? it is on my prayer list to go. let’s make it happen Dallas!
the decor/overall feel: i cannot express enough how in love i am with every little detail. casey, danielle & emily were so lovely, so thoughtful in their planning, & it made my heart sing, especially because i am a graphic design student right now, & am falling more & more in love with everything visual.
this is the warm up post. i will finish the other half of this with stories to tell you… (oh the stories!) and hopefully explain a little of how this weekend was one of the best in my life! more coming soon! and if you think of it today, will you say a prayer, or shoot some positive energy my way tomorrow morning. whatever is your thing, i’d love some good stuff, as i start a new adventure on a new job, and i’m a bit nervous! thanks lovelies! toodlelooly for now! (my grandma kitchen used to say that every time you left her…miss her SO much).
chirping, emerging, whistling, discovering, uncovering, replenishing, springing.
we have waited, and she is here.
welcome, sweet marching through april belonging to may
if i change the color of my hair, it is the same.
if i gain ten pounds of carb overloading for a race that i’m not racing (i’ve never done that! 😉 ), it remains constant.
if i forget to say thank you, or good morning, or good night, nothing has faded.
if i remember to say hello, say yes, or say no when appropriate, it is copasetic (as my dad says).
it is now.
it is then.
it will be.
His love for me.
when i’m in the dumps because of the chemicals in my brain that i can’t control…God loves me SO much that day, AND the greatest day of my happiness overload.
when i am cross with my love, and when i am graceful with myself.
God’s love is forever the same.
He loves me.
when i miss my favorite girl til my heart just feels like breaking into a prism of despair, and then she texts me with her lol’s and abbreviations.
He is in those moments. He knows my virtual hug from her was what i needed RIGHT THEN.
i still can’t get over it.
i’m working on it.
& working on trying to be more like Him, or at least love like i’d want to be loved.
but…i’m human for Pete’s sake! besides, for Pete’s best friend’s sake too, you are human. so is our pastor’s wife. & my school counselor. the customer service rep for my wireless provider. especially the hardest-to-love-people who drive me CRAZY.
but…God loves them JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME.
even though i am self-righteous sometimes.
being human sometimes is the pits. and sometimes…
sometimes some of this too:
& a touch of this:
i am scooping up, and whittling together my own stained glass joy, because i’m realizing that i enjoy the light more from my bits & the fractals of color look better when i share, & isn’t that the point of this whole journey anyway?
i plan on getting messy, dirty, joyous, raucous with the good bits, & i’d love for you to share in that insane blissful chaos with me. what has shown you fractals of joy lately? spring is coming lovelies! i hear those birds, & i’m building my nest of bits of color & hope. join me! the comments section has been lonely lately. share something that has made you joyful lately, pretty please?
***PLEASE USE #THEMUSTACHESMILE for your hashtags. I MESSED UP!*****
my dad has had a mustache my entire life, although recently he has grown it into a goatee. for his third quarter if you will. 🙂
and my dad is one of the kindest, gentlest, most caring souls around. case in point, he just finished painting my living room for me for my upcoming birthday present. he is a professional-skilled painter too, so he didn’t just slap some paint up there. 🙂 he took his time, and really, really rocked it out. i am so grateful. my dad is one of my best friends, and i would be lost without him.
yeah, but what does that have to do with mustaches, or this post?
and more importantly, what kind of title is that?!?
well, i have a new friend, and her name is kerith. we’ll be rooming together for my upcoming Hope Spoken conference! i cannot wait to meet her. maybe that is weird to say she is my friend, because we haven’t officially met, but the internet is weird, & so am i. we have emailed a few times back and forth, and this girl’s heart is GOLD. and she’s funny, so, i love her already, obviously. 🙂
while meeting new folks, i know i always am an open book, share too much, and generally accept them for whatever they are willing to share with me. needless to say, she has shared with me, and what a story she has.
it has been a year of overcoming for my new sweet friend, and the very worst of this year has been losing her dad, who had a mustache and a great smile to boot. (see the title reference now?) you can read more about her dad, and his awesomeness here.
her Dad passed away from a heart attack while serving during church one day in april last year. they had a very tight relationship, & she misses him dearly. and as a daughter who wants to honor her father, she wants everyone to do something, today, March 5th, to be kind. march 5th was her padre’s birthday, and it seemed only fitting to her, and her family that they love in his honor on this day.
so, i want to help her honor her dad, and i want to give you the assignment of helping out. if you use social media, or even email a lot, would you be so kind to use this hashtag?
kerith has a lot of awesome ways & ideas that she has conjured up to show kindness today. go to her blog, and say hello, and please, for her dad, and every kind man with a mustache out there, do something out of kindness today. and tell the person or people you loved on, that you did it for the mustache smile. 🙂
show an act of love to someone that you don’t know. because her dad did those kinds of things all the time, and she and her mom and sister are passing around his love in the best way they know how. by sharing it. ♥
won’t you join us?
much love & kindness,
the world can try and tell me what i “should” do.
what i “shouldn’t” say or believe.
but i am drawn to the light of goodness,
i am feeling the warmth of others in this polar h-e-double-hockey-sticks, as opposed to suppressing myself into being what i “should” feel.
it is so scary to take risks, and learn new. to make hard choices.
but i believe, when you make choices that you believe are right, and good choices, that LOVE is behind them all, and not malice, that joy will be your destination.
the reward is joy for following your heart, which is usually-almost/always the same as your gut feeling, which in my life is guided by Him.
even when i believe i’ve made a wrong turn on this path—-> God says He has another laid out for me.
the road less taken (if you will), or the Frizzie Hippie Volume 7,777 (if that is how many tries it takes me to ask for His help) is what He calls it. 😉
that is my greatest fear. not the fear of not living, but the fear of living wrong.
making the choices by whim, instead of thoughtfully having convos with my Maker.
BUT, He takes care of us, even when we forget to text Him, or shoot him a quick Direct Message.
in the age of internetationalism (that definition can be found in the Frizzy Hippipedia), the best part about believing that i’m not alone, is that I’m Not Alone.
and neither are you!
even with a thousand ways to do life “wrong”, when we are seeking love, and being kind, and working hard to make this life equal for all, we are doing life RIGHT.
so, even though it may be a hard choice to make, & i’m a human, mess up terribly, & pass judgement where i have no room to talk, i seek the good. the honest way.
the kind way.
i am just one person, but i believe that love is fit to be equal. it is sown to be shown. (like the upcoming tulips, & hyacinths 🙂 ). it can mend where nothing else would mend. & it has a way of seeping in your soul when you give it away, in the most redemptive kind of way. the reason that i think that God can love us SO much, is that He gave us the ultimate gift, and how amazing that would feel to give a gift of salvation! imagine how awesome you feel when you give an amazing Christmas gift to your hard-to-buy for Father in Law, or that perfect scarf happens to make your sister’s day brighter than you could have dreamed – not for her, but you. giving ALWAYS makes me feel amazing, and i bet God had a little clue that that’s how He’d feel once He gave us His son.
so, do the love thing. whether it is the right thing, or the hard thing, or not even a thing, but an act of love. do it, and friends, do it bravely.
i think we’re covered. 😉
the wellness of all
the wellness of all
and others alike
is to be well with each other
elder, teen, babe or tike.
but what about the tweeners,
or folks in between,
can we give up on our wellness
our hopes, or our dreams?
well of course not,
you silly, you ninny, you fool,
we must break through our paperwork,
our taxes, the drool.
we must march ahead onward,
and fully with vim –
we are the tweeners, the lot of us,
whole, 2% or skim.
follow your dreams friends, as silly and outrageously awesome as they are.
for they may come true!
♥ cuteness provided by my nephews ♥
i had some braised kale tonight that was honestly better than the mashed potatoes they shared a plate with. insane. and it was the first time i ate kale! i feel like i should be receiving my membership to “Fad Foods of Yesterday”, since kale has been hip FOREVER according to hippies….and yet, i’m a self-proclaimed hippie, and haven’t ever had kale until tonight? what????
note to self: must check and recheck my Hippie Guidelines list.
Said list includes but not limited to: buy reusable bags to use for groceries, forget to use them, buy more, make own deodorant, eat granola, shower every third day…UMMMM, apparently I am not a hippie. newsflash! 🙂
i kinda already knew that i wasn’t a real hippie, as i have never had any interest in going to, following, or reliving anything to do with the Grateful Dead. besides, Ben Harper and old Dave Matthews are enjoyable without any mood altering substances, and no weird dancing bears are involved. the bears kinda scare me. no offense if Jerry Garcia was your jam, man! he rocked! he just wasn’t my main jam, man. 🙂
i also must point out that as a psuedo-hippie, i don’t know how to let stuff go with the flow anymore, because frankly, i am not sure which flow i am supposed to follow. or unfollow, or like or friend, or poke, or snap with the chat. GAH. makeitstopsometimes.
i totally and absolutely am on board with technology. IF … we can take a break once in a while, and go swimming (right now in the mitten, we can ski or snowboard, or practice the delicate art of not freezing our asses off – i mean, sorry for swearing but this winter has STUNK as far as temps and snowfall), or macrame a plant holder for our doula. 😉
but, i do advocate loving ALL people. each one of them. no matter what they wear, who they listen to, or what kind of psychedelic bears they find fascinating. so, hippie points earned back. right on man (said with Matthew McConaughey’s voice) AND, thankfully for a.r. and r.l., i do shower daily, because that IS how i roll. except when i’m camping, which is a whole ‘nother post entirely:: hippie in her element. (picture me talking to every animal, because, well, i LOVE every animal, and ALMOST every bug, living thing, etc).
i feel like this type of post is kinda like you getting the backstage pass to the willy wonka land of my brain, and all it’s psuedo/real hippie loving ways. sure i have non hippie confrontational moments, where i need a room filled with pillows so i can thrash about like a weirdly flexible robot, but thankfully those are few and far between. 🙂 don’t you wish we could have a room like that available for when we are about to lose our marbles or kindness, and can just bounce around? it would probably make us laugh and cause fewer accidents on Woodward, right? and then we would bust a gut, hug it out, and share some ice cream in general merriment about being our awesome selves. because kind folks, i believe we are all awesome. so, somebody invent that weird pillow robot flailing room, okay? and SOON. i gots cabin fever, and i gots it B-A-D.
this post brought to you by #41 (which is one of Dave Matthews’ best songs, although my favorite song he ever wrote was the Christmas Song).
peace in whatever or wherever you call home, homies.
your psuedo hippie,