fractals of joy

being the light refracted
being the light refracted

if i change the color of my hair, it is the same.

if i gain ten pounds of carb overloading for a race that i’m not racing (i’ve never done that! 😉 ), it remains constant.

if i forget to say thank you, or good morning, or good night, nothing has faded.

if i remember to say hello, say yes, or say no when appropriate, it is copasetic (as my dad says).

it is now.

it is then.

it will be.

His love for me.

when i’m in the dumps because of the chemicals in my brain that i can’t control…God loves me SO much that day, AND the greatest day of my happiness overload.

when i am cross with my love, and when i am graceful with myself.

God’s love is forever the same.

He loves me.

when i miss my favorite girl til my heart just feels like breaking into a prism of despair, and then she texts me with her lol’s and abbreviations.

He is in those moments. He knows my virtual hug from her was what i needed RIGHT THEN.

i still can’t get over it.

i’m working on it.

& working on trying to be more like Him, or at least love like i’d want to be loved.

but…i’m human for Pete’s sake! besides, for Pete’s best friend’s sake too, you are human. so is our pastor’s wife. & my school counselor. the customer service rep for my wireless provider. especially the hardest-to-love-people who drive me CRAZY.

but…God loves them JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME.
even though i am self-righteous sometimes.

too often.

yikes.

being human sometimes is the pits. and sometimes…

it ROCKS.

like:

happy green shirt from my favorite coffee place :)
happy green shirt from my favorite coffee place 🙂

this:

teeny tiny blue glass vases
teeny tiny blue glass vases

sometimes some of this too:

antrhopologie party
fancy pants sparkles for the anthro birthday party soiree (is that how you spell soiree?)

& a touch of this:

spring from my love
spring from my love

i am scooping up, and whittling together my own stained glass joy, because i’m realizing that i enjoy the light more from my bits & the fractals of color look better when i share, & isn’t that the point of this whole journey anyway?

i plan on getting messy, dirty, joyous, raucous with the good bits, & i’d love for you to share in that insane blissful chaos with me. what has shown you fractals of joy lately? spring is coming lovelies! i hear those birds, & i’m building my nest of bits of color & hope. join me! the comments section has been lonely lately. share something that has made you joyful lately, pretty please?

#themustachesmile

mustache-smile

***PLEASE USE #THEMUSTACHESMILE for your hashtags. I MESSED UP!*****

#themustachesmile

my dad has had a mustache my entire life, although recently he has grown it into a goatee. for his third quarter if you will. 🙂

and my dad is one of the kindest, gentlest, most caring souls around. case in point, he just finished painting my living room for me for my upcoming birthday present. he is a professional-skilled painter too, so he didn’t just slap some paint up there. 🙂 he took his time, and really, really rocked it out. i am so grateful. my dad is one of my best friends, and i would be lost without him.

yeah, but what does that have to do with mustaches, or this post?

and more importantly, what kind of title is that?!?

well, i have a new friend, and her name is kerith. we’ll be rooming together for my upcoming Hope Spoken conference! i cannot wait to meet her. maybe that is weird to say she is my friend, because we haven’t officially met, but the internet is weird, & so am i. we have emailed a few times back and forth, and this girl’s heart is GOLD. and she’s funny, so, i love her already, obviously. 🙂

while meeting new folks, i know i always am an open book, share too much, and generally accept them for whatever they are willing to share with me. needless to say, she has shared with me, and what a story she has.

it has been a year of overcoming for my new sweet friend, and the very worst of this year has been losing her dad, who had a mustache and a great smile to boot. (see the title reference now?) you can read more about her dad, and his awesomeness here.

her Dad passed away from a heart attack while serving during church one day in april last year. they had a very tight relationship, & she misses him dearly. and as a daughter who wants to honor her father, she wants everyone to do something, today, March 5th, to be kind. march 5th was her padre’s birthday, and it seemed only fitting to her, and her family that they love in his honor on this day.

so, i want to help her honor her dad, and i want to give you the assignment of helping out. if you use social media, or even email a lot, would you be so kind to use this hashtag?

#themustachesmile

kerith has a lot of awesome ways & ideas that she has conjured up to show kindness today. go to her blog, and say hello, and please, for her dad, and every kind man with a mustache out there, do something out of kindness today. and tell the person or people you loved on, that you did it for the mustache smile. 🙂

show an act of love to someone that you don’t know. because her dad did those kinds of things all the time, and she and her mom and sister are passing around his love in the best way they know how. by sharing it. ♥

won’t you join us?

much love & kindness,

barb

usually-almost/always

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the world can try and tell me what i “should” do.

what i “shouldn’t” say or believe.

but i am drawn to the light of goodness,

i am feeling the warmth of others in this polar h-e-double-hockey-sticks, as opposed to suppressing myself into being what i “should” feel.

it is so scary to take risks, and learn new. to make hard choices.

but i believe, when you make choices that you believe are right, and good choices, that LOVE is behind them all, and not malice, that joy will be your destination.

the reward is joy for following your heart, which is usually-almost/always the same as your gut feeling, which in my life is guided by Him.

even when i believe i’ve made a wrong turn on this path—-> God says He has another laid out for me.

the road less taken (if you will), or the Frizzie Hippie Volume 7,777 (if that is how many tries it takes me to ask for His help) is what He calls it. 😉

that is my greatest fear. not the fear of not living, but the fear of living wrong.

making the choices by whim, instead of thoughtfully having convos with my Maker.

BUT, He takes care of us, even when we forget to text Him, or shoot him a quick Direct Message.

in the age of internetationalism (that definition can be found in the Frizzy Hippipedia), the best part about believing that i’m not alone, is that I’m Not Alone.

and neither are you!

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even with a thousand ways to do life “wrong”, when we are seeking love, and being kind, and working hard to make this life equal for all, we are doing life RIGHT.

so, even though it may be a hard choice to make, & i’m a human, mess up terribly, & pass judgement where i have no room to talk, i seek the good. the honest way.

the kind way.

i am just one person, but i believe that love is fit to be equal. it is sown to be shown. (like the upcoming tulips, & hyacinths 🙂 ). it can mend where nothing else would mend. & it has a way of seeping in your soul when you give it away, in the most redemptive kind of way. the reason that i think that God can love us SO much, is that He gave us the ultimate gift, and how amazing that would feel to give a gift of salvation! imagine how awesome you feel when you give an amazing Christmas gift to your hard-to-buy for Father in Law, or that perfect scarf happens to make your sister’s day brighter than you could have dreamed – not for her, but you. giving ALWAYS makes me feel amazing, and i bet God had a little clue that that’s how He’d feel once He gave us His son.

so, do the love thing. whether it is the right thing, or the hard thing, or not even a thing, but an act of love. do it, and friends, do it bravely.

love bravely.

i think we’re covered. 😉

the wellness of all

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the wellness of all

the wellness of all

and others alike

is to be well with each other

elder, teen, babe or tike.

but what about the tweeners,

or folks in between,

can we give up on our wellness

our hopes, or our dreams?

well of course not,

you silly, you ninny, you fool,

we must break through our paperwork,

our taxes, the drool.

we must march ahead onward,

and fully with vim –

we are the tweeners, the lot of us,

whole, 2% or skim.

follow your dreams friends, as silly and outrageously awesome as they are.

for they may come true!

♥ cuteness provided by my nephews ♥

random thought thursday:: non hippie edition

photo (1)

i had some braised kale tonight that was honestly better than the mashed potatoes they shared a plate with. insane. and it was the first time i ate kale! i feel like i should be receiving my membership to “Fad Foods of Yesterday”, since kale has been hip FOREVER according to hippies….and yet, i’m a self-proclaimed hippie, and haven’t ever had kale until tonight? what????

note to self: must check and recheck my Hippie Guidelines list.

Said list includes but not limited to: buy reusable bags to use for groceries, forget to use them, buy more, make own deodorant, eat granola, shower every third day…UMMMM, apparently I am not a hippie. newsflash! 🙂

i kinda already knew that i wasn’t a real hippie, as i have never had any interest in going to, following, or reliving anything to do with the Grateful Dead. besides, Ben Harper and old Dave Matthews are enjoyable without any mood altering substances, and no weird dancing bears are involved. the bears kinda scare me. no offense if Jerry Garcia was your jam, man! he rocked! he just wasn’t my main jam, man. 🙂

i also must point out that as a psuedo-hippie, i don’t know how to let stuff go with the flow anymore, because frankly, i am not sure which flow i am supposed to follow. or unfollow, or like or friend, or poke, or snap with the chat. GAH. makeitstopsometimes.

i totally and absolutely am on board with technology. IF … we can take a break once in a while, and go swimming (right now in the mitten, we can ski or snowboard, or practice the delicate art of not freezing our asses off – i mean, sorry for swearing but this winter has STUNK as far as temps and snowfall), or macrame a plant holder for our doula. 😉

but, i do advocate loving ALL people. each one of them. no matter what they wear, who they listen to, or what kind of psychedelic bears they find fascinating. so, hippie points earned back. right on man (said with Matthew McConaughey’s voice) AND, thankfully for a.r. and r.l., i do shower daily, because that IS how i roll. except when i’m camping, which is a whole ‘nother post entirely:: hippie in her element. (picture me talking to every animal, because, well, i LOVE every animal, and ALMOST every bug, living thing, etc).

i feel like this type of post is kinda like you getting the backstage pass to the willy wonka land of my brain, and all it’s psuedo/real hippie loving ways. sure i have non hippie confrontational moments, where i need a room filled with pillows so i can thrash about like a weirdly flexible robot, but thankfully those are few and far between. 🙂 don’t you wish we could have a room like that available for when we are about to lose our marbles or kindness, and can just bounce around? it would probably make us laugh and cause fewer accidents on Woodward, right? and then we would bust a gut, hug it out, and share some ice cream in general merriment about being our awesome selves. because kind folks, i believe we are all awesome. so, somebody invent that weird pillow robot flailing room, okay? and SOON. i gots cabin fever, and i gots it B-A-D.

this post brought to you by #41 (which is one of Dave Matthews’ best songs, although my favorite song he ever wrote was the Christmas Song).

peace in whatever or wherever you call home, homies.

your psuedo hippie,

b

♥ goods

valentime’s day. yes, i said valentime. sue me. (please don’t sue me though, i am scared of courts). it can be an awful time or a time of delicious smelling, overpriced roses. BUT! what if we just called it a love month, and perhaps gave gifts all month long to those we love? and if it happens to be the 14th or the 18th or 29th when you give that gift, then who cares? 🙂

so gifts ::  for anyone. old or young. hairy or otherwise.

for the lovelies in your life:

I have curated a few ideas that are handmade, and some even do good.  so, double win.  or win squared. either way, win. you get it.

the ladies 

need a gift for a fashionable lady? think scarf. always fun, super chic.

a bit audrey hepburn, yes? 🙂

Mulu-cranberry-766x1024

the company that provides these scarves is super cool.  i mean it.  they are helping women in africa who make these scarves, gain employment and change their lives. i happen to be able to listen to the genius of the ceo of this company, at the influence conference in 2012, bought my own scarf while i was there, and it is my FAVORITE.  i have really sensitive skin, and it does not make me even scratch. each scarf comes with its own handwritten note with the name of the woman who made it, and what you helped her be ABLE to do.  love this.

so, to learn more, you can find the fashionABLE scarves and other Mocha Club stuff here:  fashionABLE

the mens

for the dudes…hmmm, what to get them right? SO hard to choose between this belt sander, and that turkey call, or that football jersey, and this home brew kit. well? how about a handmade wooden wallet. the company is called Bound Tight Wallets, and I heard they are making rings too!  made of wood! HOW COOL!

BOUND TIGHT WITH LOGO

bound tight

great idea, amazing design. win/win.

these are made in the u.s. of a. by a family owned company. wins all around if you ask me.

the princesses

next up, your little girl. with hair like rapunzel or sometimes more like medusa? 🙂

trying to tame some crazy hair? look at these lovelies! they are handmade, and they give hope! this company gives back to a new cause each month. whoohoo for hair & hope!!!

meow_turban_1024x1024

also, i don’t know if you can tell, but those are little kitty cats on the headbands. sweetness. ♥

find these mini fashion statements here:  she does justice

smaller dudes

for the spunky, rambunctious, awesome little tinkerer:

you want something that let’s them stay still, while letting them soar creatively.

i seem to have a woodsy theme going on for the masculine peeps on your list.

i will not apologize. i love nature!

enter a michigan based company that repurposes wood for kids toys:

Stackaroofind these beauties here: McGregor Custom Inlay and Crafts.

furry, fuzzy or otherwise

of course i don’t want to leave out any furry pals you may have:

these monkeez and friends squeaker toy (how cute is this octopus!) would make any wiggly pet super happy, and the best part?

they give back, and you get to choose which charity! yay for giving back! find this one and others here: monkeez and friends

Monkeez

so friends, neighbors, generous folk of everywhere, let’s spread some love, and make every day this month a kind of love extravaganza!

p.s. i was not paid anything to promote these companies, they did not know i was doing so. i just kinda LOVE handmade companies, and I LOVE giving. it’s my favorite.

happy love month to you all!

sigggggg22

frizzy hippie: volume 2 :: i can’t eat the glue, & what it’s teaching me

link to purchase picture
bobcat pup

source

in the past half year or so, i’ve gone gluten free. this post is about what i miss (foods), and what <<i’ve discovered>>.

i have not jumped on the bandwagon. but if you need to judge me anyway, go ahead. I (politely) just don’t care anymore what you think about my food choices.  i have been doing it to see if the stomach issues that have plagued my daily life since childhood, would improve – they have.

joy!

(i miss fresh bagels)

::: it has been HARD.  i ate gluten a few times on and off since i’ve been trying it. i immediately felt the effects of its return. tummy aches, uncomfortable, lack of energy (boo).

so i’ve made a choice. no more gluten – forever. (only exception, if my Uncle Ron makes Gramma F’s homemade bread, or teaches me how – pretty please?). 🙂

i have now been gfree since Christmas Day, and i’m never going back. i will not just eat it to please whomever my host or hostess is, and i will just bring my own snacks so i know i have options. this may sound harsh, but it is my HEALTH. no offense to you! 🙂

::: the removal of something that is in SO much in our food today has been a very difficult task.

difficult because i’ve been trying to lose weight without much change to my routine, and i’m on a budget. remember this? duh Barb, you gotta MOVE more. (goal for 2014).

((i also miss microbrewed beer))

taking out a protein, not because i’m allergic, but obviously because i’ve found, i have an issue with it (as i have felt/looked better immediately after i stopped eating it) has been life changing.

<< i have MORE ENERGY>>  :::::

what i’ve realized is that taking it out of my diet is more than just taking it out for me. it has been an education for everyone that i encounter on a semi-regular basis.

i’m a freshman about the gluten facts. like, did you know that there are some beef jerky brands that contain it? and some cheeses? fascinating.

<< LESS BLOATING. NOTE THAT I DIDN’T SAY SKINNY 🙂 >>

before i lose you with boring factoids, i want this post to be a goal for all of us.

because, dear folks, not eating gluten seems to me to have been a punishment so far, and i’d love to change that. (this post is about more than gluten i promise). 😉

i feel like because i can’t have a soft breaded sandwich without having to toast my bread beforehand, or eat stuffing at holiday meals, or check every single label, i feel gypped!

there, i said it.

(( i miss inexpensive tasty crackers))  :::  one of the harder things? people are skeptical about why i may be doing it.

or worse?

they make jokes about stuff not being “gluten free” because it is the dieting rage right now.

i’ll be honest, i didn’t research a whole lot before i started, because if i had, i’d never have even tried.

this little protein is added to SO many things to use as a kind of protein “glue” if you will. something about it makes things stick together.

i am all kinds of edumacating you all today, huh? 🙂

<< i am NO LONGER PHYSICALLY DIZZY, ALTHOUGH MENTAL DIZZINESS IS STILL KICKIN’>>  :::

going forward:

i want to not feel gypped. i want to feel JOY now & forever about my health choices, and in general about my choices, such as wearing white after Labor Day, and why Michigan State is the best university in the world.

it also got me thinking that my struggle to want to just be able to eat like my gluten tolerant friends & fam, is a great metaphor for like TONS of things.  life choices. career choices.  Mac or PC.

you see, we cannot always choose why we are the way we are.  we can certainly try to improve on stuff that we struggle with, or dislike about ourselves. i also think it may come down to something even more simple for me.

i want to feel supported in my decisions. whether i decide to become the first woman to climb mount everest with a bobcat pup snuggled into a baby sling, or i want to start the world’s first sustainable lady bug farm.  i want people to ask questions with interest, not doubt. i want people to be curious with compassion, care & tenderness, not scowls and snideness.

isn’t it absurd (and SO joyous) that we are given these lives according to God’s plan for EACH of us, and how we seem to make a hilarious, beautiful messes of it, and how He still loves us anyway?

that rocks!

i believe that God wants us to use encouragement, support, love and understanding to continuously affect the people around you and how their joy is being sought. being shared & multiplied. mine too. we are supposed to be different. we are supposed to eat different stuff. wear different clothes. speak different languages. because God would have been so bored to have a world of only Victoria & David Beckhams. He would have been B-O-R-E-D.

do you know those montages for different things like phone commercials, where they interview or show short clips of people of all races, sizes, religions, sexual orientations, hair color, ages, peanut-butter-choices? and everyone is smiling? those are MY FAVORITE. the beauty of those colors of skin, those hairstyles, those shapes, those smiles – all not perfect, are just SO real.

different.

all of us.

so, the next time someone is telling your their ideology or diet, or plan for financial freedom, or big dream, let them talk. and listen.  REALLY listen.  ask questions with intention of goodness, show them your joy of hearing or interpretting what they mean, as they delve into it. my guess is? you will see the sparkle in their eyes. or feel the energy of their excitement. you may even give them a hug, and a word of encouragement. because they may not know all the answers of what gluten is in, or know how they will climb mount everest and still make sure to feed their bobcat babe when it’s hungry, or even know where to find tiny solar-powered tractors for their ladybug farm. but i’m sure they’d love a friend’s ear to bounce ideas off of. i’m going to take my own advice and let my favorite girl dream out loud, without being the reality police, or worse yet, the dream crusher. i want her to feel the joy of choosing on her own and learning. because through this journey of eating gluten free i’ve learned that i need to extend kindness to those with their own ideas of what works for them. because we all have God’s safety net, and eventually someone will come up with a gluten free version of Buffalo Wild Wing’s chocolate cake, right? 🙂

i can’t eat the glue, but what i’m gaining in understanding is pretty filling. plus? i can still eat kettle chips, chocolate & coffee with cream (sometimes sugar), so life.is.good.

sigggggg22

i will conquer the west

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about my fears, i wrote the following, knowing that only by conquering my fears of beginning, will i ever know if i can. the more i wonder, the braver i become.

i am not the west.
i am the north.
i breathe the south.
i embrace the east.
but the west.
it is scary, dry, unknown, desolate perhaps.
is it sacred >> does it bring about cracks that want to envelop me?
i know nothing of its culture.
i am an immigrant in its land.
the west of what i dream and rake my future from, those west – are more than what i think i could handle if i got there.
but, what i know, in the form of fingertips and frostbite, unprepared – i’m heading there anyway.
with my cart.
because of my very horse.
the wagon of my stuff exposed – laid bare upon those cracked and hardened canvases of truth.
the west.
it is an apocalypse of fear that i will destroy with my beginning.
the fear is something erupting into my drums.
and i must march on.

to your dreams, to your hopes, to your beginnings.

i am sending out the blessing of the new year to each and every one of you. may we seek the joy in all we do, and may we spread the kindness as a living, breathing seed of good.

happiest of happy to you and yours. what is your west? go & explore it. may we find love wherever we are brave enough to travel.

love,

b

sigggggg22

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