grace for the winged ones

CRACK!

the poor bird smacks its beak into the window.  CRACK!  again.  why won’t that teeny thing just open it’s eyes?  why won’t it look?  doesn’t it see what’s right in front of it?

it is never about me.  nor should it be.  but, even though sometimes it hurts,  i am the pane that God is looking through to tell my story.  the pain through the pane.

but my fears and insecurities are so raw.

right there, for others to peruse and poke.  doesn’t she see what’s right in front of her?

so just know, that i am trying to be forever lovely in a way that is tangible

and real.  not so that you can feel bad for me, because we are all that tiny bird sometimes.

so i’ve discovered, this space is for all about making less of my presence,

and more about God’s.

especially for my friends, family or strangers that don’t know the peace that He brings.

{{A conversation that I had a week or so ago with God}}  :

i spill coffee on myself (in fact, that day, i spilled tea and coffee on myself and my desk)   i curse.  a few times.

So what?!? He says. Lots of people get caught up in their emotions.  Keep moving on in your day.  Be happy.  I love you, Barb.

I’ve judged others for their sins!

So, you think no one else does that?  God giggles.  Tell me that you are sorry, and be kinder next time.  I love you, Barbie.

But my thoughts Lord, they are wretched sometimes, I mean, truly, awful and SO not nice!

By my gift to you, my son, you are forgiven, He promises.  I mean it. 

I love you, Barbara Lynn.

Just like that?

Repent and you are forgiven my love.  His sincerity envelopes me.

Lift your head up child.  You are flawed, so is everyone.  You are clumsy, so are many.  You are beautiful, even when you feel you aren’t.  I created you as I wanted you to be.  So, child, just be.  right brained, frizzy haired, kooky, bohemian you.

{{the end}}

this peace, it lights my soul on fire.

and comforts me in my times of uncertainty, when even those who know me,  have misunderstood me.  she keeps making the same mistakes!

but… He is my light! 🙂   He makes me peaceful! 🙂   He calms the seas of my stormy head and heart, and lifts me like the tiny broken winged thing that i am.  i am healed and made new by His grace.

and i am grateful, i am cherished, i am loved!  even when i don’t always see what’t right in front of me.  🙂

so are you. cherished, and loved. by me, and by Him!

plus, we have oxyclean, so my coffee stain will come out.  🙂

peace friends,

blf